Mrs Coleman’s Sweet Shop

sweets

Mrs Coleman’s sweet shop on Anchorsholme Lane would creak and bulge beneath its stock.
On Saturdays, come wind or rain, we’d pool our spends and buy the lot.
Chocolate Camel cigarettes (you won’t see them on sale now),
Liquorice root and gobstoppers large enough to choke a cow.
Pontefract and Kendal Mint, cola cubes, Bazooka Joe,
Pink Panther bars and Frogger bars, Fruit Salads, Black Jacks and Mo Jos,
Flying saucers, lolly whistles, hundreds and thousands, Lucky Bags,
(The best prize was the pack of cards), Sherbet Fountains, Sherbet Dabs,
Liquorice imps that blew off your socks.
Caramac, Sugar mice, toffee rocks.
Pineapple cubes, Anglo gum
(“If you swallow and fart it inflates from your bum”);
For coppers we’d stuff ourselves stupid, and that
Is why we all grew up incredibly fat.

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18 responses to “Mrs Coleman’s Sweet Shop

  • JahTeh

    But we only had them on Saturdays. Saturday night Dad would come home from the races, throw us a bag of mixed sweets and a comic each and I think we fought more over the comics than the sweets. Now kids can buy anything all the time and so can adults which is why I’m fat.

    • Brian Hughes

      Actually, I think it’s the sausage rolls that have done it for me, Witchy. There are no sweet shops in Britain any more. Just chocolate stands at check-outs in supermarkets.

  • Jo

    This threw me back to my childhood 🙂

    • Brian Hughes

      It threw me back as well, only in my case I bounced.

      • Jo

        lol! I cannot believe the amount of crap I ate as a child and I was stick thin and still have only had one filling. I wonder what all the fuss is about these days. Mind you, I was locked out of the house for about 12 hours a day to run around in the fresh air …..

      • Brian Hughes

        I must admit I used to stagger home from the pub when I was eight and just tip the entire contents of the fridge into my mouth all in one go. Lift, shake open door, pour. And I never got fat. I was like a stork’s leg. Then I hit thirty-odd and overnight something happened to my metabolism. (I think it was the invention of the Playstation that did it.) Now if I accidentally sniff a beefburger from fifty yards I automatically gain four stone.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, I remember this shop 🙂 It’s still there, nothing like this now though

    • Brian Hughes

      Mrs Coleman used to be my grandmother’s friend, so I always used to go with her when she went to visit. Then make a lot noise so she’d give me tons of sweets to shut me up. I always was a bit evil.

  • Anonymous

    That’s kids for you, you should see the things they try at school 🙂

  • suzywordmuser

    I remember most of these, and to think so many were just a 1 or 2 pence – what a bargain for a load of old rubbish (that’s what my Mum called them!) But you forgot to mention Space Dust – do you remember that popping candy dust kids used to get a high on? I remember it from 79 & 80, but I think it was around before then. http://www.flickr.com/photos/castlekay/2292507374/

    You get ripped of something terrible now for sweets, and Curly Wurly’s – they’re not the same! 😦

    • Brian Hughes

      I didn’t forget it, Suzy. I just didn’t include it. I hated Space Dust. It was like sticking a battery up each nostril.

      • suzywordmuser

        Yes, it was a bit like that!! 😆 It frightened me the first time I tried it, but I kind of childishly got addicted to that after a while! 😀

      • Brian Hughes

        The kids at school used to dare each other – twelve packets of Space Dust and a mouthful of Coke all at once. I was hoping one of their heads would explode, but the most that ever happened was that one of them would throw up.

  • GrowlTigger

    Lovely nostalgic poem. 🙂 I remember most of these, including the chocolate cigarettes – there were thin white ones too, with red tips. I was rarely allowed many of these junk sweets, but I was fairly addicted to Polo mints and always seemed to have a packet of them on the go, wrapping the foil back up tight to keep the flavour in!

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