Facebook

facebook

Insipid, hateful, vile site,
As fluffy as a pillow fight.
The copied meme, the home-baked dish.
“LMAO. Ime nickin’ this!”
“This iz mi world, this iz mi cat,
This iz mi favourite anorak.”
With empty thoughts from empty heads,
Where spelling’s sick and grammar’s dead,
And Johnny Depp, “He’s f@@king fit!”
The anti-Muslim hissy fit.
“That Arthur Einstein nose sum stuff.”
”That Dale Winston, hees a puff!”
“I dont doo politiks, there crap.”
“Iv found mi hous on googel maps.”
It’s where the uncreative dwell –
The shallow realms of Facebook hell.

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32 responses to “Facebook

  • JahTeh

    Didn’t I tell you never to go near that evil place? I signed up when it first appeared but didn’t like how much they wanted to know about my business and when I decided to leave after one week, they demanded to know why and they wouldn’t let me delete the profile.
    I had decided that there was no-one in my past that I ever wanted to hear from again or see a photo of especially if they were skinny. And I hate being poked.

    • Brian Hughes

      It hasn’t really changed, except there’s more adverts everywhere now, along with more racists, homophobes, right-wingers and general tossers. It’s a real eye-opener into the world of the unthinking pleb.

  • Tiffany Coffman

    Effing genius!

  • Jo

    Ha reading this after our conversation last night. Made me laugh out loud on the train!

    • Brian Hughes

      Thought it might cheer you up this morning. Good luck with the interview.

      • Jo

        Thank you 🙂 12 of us in the offing and me wondering how I would manage the Childcare if I was offered it but we will see.

      • Jo

        Brian you have deactivated! Now all my posts look like I have gone stark raving mad because all your comments has vanished haha! Who am I meant to have bitchy conversations over inbox with now?

      • Brian Hughes

        Hahaha…sorry about that Jo. Facebook pulled its ultimate stunt on me this morning. It hacked its way into Peter Gibson’s email account and sent out ‘invitations’ to Michelle. I know that Facebook did this, and not Peter, because Peter died two weeks ago. It really is a vile site and the sooner it closes the better.

      • Jo

        Oh… that is bad! I don’t blame you. Honestly Brian I don’t think I will be far behind you. Sometimes I am on there thinking ‘Why on earth am I not reading a book instead’. Think I might join pinterest or something instead.

      • Brian Hughes

        Pinterest…sounds intriguing.

      • Jo

        I am going to have a good look at it later on.

  • Chris Kapot

    Perhaps you have the wrong (Facebook) friends?

    I love intelligent people, correct grammar and spelling, and Facebook. I know a lot of creatives who dwell there.

    Funny poem though – ROFLMAOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (*ahem – sorry)

    • Brian Hughes

      There’s a small handful on my contacts’ list, Chris, that I consider to be intelligent and worthwhile. The vast majority, however, are utter, mindless idiots. I keep my account open for the good ones, but the tide of idiocy is slowly eroding the…er…cliff face of…er…I’ve lost track of this metaphor now.

  • Cubby

    I never use Facebook. My 4 friends on there don’t give a damn either, so it all works out. It’s all the fricking friend requests that really annoy me. Just because you’re a friend of a friend of a friend doesn’t mean I should have to add you as my friend.

    • Brian Hughes

      It’s the racism, ignorance and bigotry that I really hate. Facebook doesn’t give a damn. I’ve seen a whole new side to people that I thought were reasonably intelligent, decent sorts on Facebook, and it’s a side I really don’t like.

  • Eccentricess

    I haven’t posted new pictures of my cats for at least a week. :-p
    I loves me some Facebooking!
    Organising Circus get togethers, posting pictures of Hemlock balancing a minitramp on his chin, letting people know that my latest sewing adventure has made me swear and rather surprised my daughter.
    Watching my distant cousin’s children grow up via her photos, checking out my other cousin’s wedding dress or new boat, videos of friends doing amazing hula hoop acts, seeing new art…
    I’m totally sharing this post… on Facebook. ;-p

  • Ellen Forrest

    So well put, Brian but my Johnny Depp is dear to me. 🙂 And my spelling and grammar are real good!

    • Brian Hughes

      Again, Ellen, you were one of the decent ones. But after Facebook’s horrible, unethical and probably illegal stunt this morning I’ve deactivated my account. I’m a blog only Internet user now.

  • suzywordmuser

    I agree – Facebook hell indeed!! I tried it for a while, set up an account to accompany the blog, long before I opened a blog. It got me to swearing point, it was so dysfunctional, posts kept disappearing! Not to mention the empty headed stuff people go on about on there!

    They actually banned me for 30 days for posting spammy material. It seems on Facebook it’s actually possible to spam yourself!! 😀

    When I joined WordPress I was half expecting the same problems, but I’ve not had anything like that! I don’t know what Facebook’s excuse is for being so dysfunctional. And I’ve lost count now of how many bloggers say they hate it!

  • fibee5

    my first thought (please don’t hate me) but who are your friends then? Facebook is what you make it 😛

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