Nothing Ever Works


Nothing ever works these days. It’s nasty and it’s shoddy,
Like the whole damned stupid country’s being run by feckin’ Noddy.
Download this and download that to make your laptop run much quicker.
Oh, the file’s corrupt, now there’s a shock. A bean tin and some knickers
Would work better. My stupid digi-box was built by useless gits,
I’ve now got fifty dreadful channels full of cheap and nasty shit.
And DVDs, they’re indestructible, they’ll withstand atom bombs,
But mine screw up because I breathed too quick or had my glasses on.
It’s every bloody, blasted thing I buy, from kettles down to Wii’s.
My vacuum cleaner has the suction of a small asthmatic flea,
My cistern leaks, my dongle’s knackered. I’ve had as much as I can take.
I’d go to bed and spend my life there but I’m worried it might break.

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